gettin' fresh & not fresh at fresh market.

pet-peeve#1: don't sell me four-kind shredded cheese container, only to bring it home to then ask myself, is that bleu cheese crumbles or mold, to then look at the expiration date: january 26, 2010. mold. because that only means i have to drag my ass (and by drag i mean drive the 0.5 miles) back to the store, unload heavy baby, complain about your false advertising (albertson's changes to fresh market to then sell moldy cheese?), and then have me reeling over pet-peeve number 2, below.

part a: when i'm standing in the grocery line, don't stand one inch away like you know me. you don't know me. i can guarantee it. and even if you did, the only person who should be standing that close is my husband, pants down. yes. see that ring right there on my finger? that stands for i'm married. part b: when i move a bit farther up the line? that stands for i'm moving away from you & you should stay where you are so i can have my own breathing air. we don't need to mix our molecules & air cause, remember? i'm married. happily. and besides, i don't do that on the first standing-too-close-to-me-in-line. if you didn't notice the ring, which by the way is not my wedding ring cause i lost that, then the fact that i'm holding my 15 month-old son in my arms should be your next clue. that should tell you i'm at least involved. but i guess that could mean that i'm easy. which could be the very reason you are standing so close, stealing my air. ew. move along.

note to self

self: sending a text to your best friend saying that you just farted for the first time, where lying about it was clearly not an option, in front of your daughers, who thought it was hilarious, will most likely be read by said best friend's 8 year old daughter, who will then say, "mommy? you got a text from raina." pause. "and it was funny." great. now everyone knows that moms do, in fact, fart.

note to every other mom out there: do you fart in front of your kids? i have always been able to play it off, like, "oh that? that was just the house making noises again," or "i just moved the chair and it sounded like a toot! isn't that funny??" and luckily for the naivity of my children, they totally bought it. everytime. plus, i told them that mom's never fart.

my morning cup of coffee.

this morning i woke up to this:

(lee) "i had a pretty funny dream last night."

(me, half asleep) "yeah? what was it?"

"i dreamt that i had a band-aid on each of my pinky toes. and i took them off.

and they smelled soooooo good."

im.press.ive, i know.

and difficult to go back to sleep after hearing something so inspring.