how i plan to spend my tax return

this is a tense time of year for me. i want to spend our tax return on materialistic goods to, you know, stimulate the economy. lee, however, wants to spend it on boring stuff such as debt. i mean come on, what are we, our grandparents? hell no, we are a new generation of spend spend spend. so suck it, credit card companies. i don't owe you shit. i will get myself that (insert materialistic good here) before i pay your ass back. besides, you think people who have 10k in credit card debt deserve to only pay back a fraction of what they owe, whereas responsible people like lee (& myself, by marriage) manage to only rack up about 2k/yr, only to pay it off before we are even charged the insane amount of interest. i want to nancy kerrigan your ass, visa, mastercard, american express, discover, etc. and i will hire tanya harding to do it, if necessary.

having said all that, here is how i plan to spend my portion:

1. ipod nano plus nike+ sport kit-i'm a runner now, guys. big time runner. i wheeze my way through 3 miles every other day.

2. mustard-colored strappy wedges to go with my nautical striped dress. how whorey of me.

3. large area rug for dining room, to hopefully drown out the yelling, I MEAN echo, due to the lack of everything BUT a dining table & chairs.

4. patio furniture-we are now fully equipped with an enormous, gorgeous backyard, minus the actual sitting equipment.

5. grill, or as i call it a "bbqer"-um hello! we have a yard now. we will be bbqing everyday & if lee wants a hot meal, nightly, he will surrender. or he can just eat the burned bits off the broiler pan for all i care.

6. trip to portland. our 10 yr anniversary cruise turned into, "let's go on a vacation somewhere we would actually live & check it out" which then turned into, "well, hell, let's just bring the lil ankle-biters along for the ride!" cause nothing screams "retarded!" like bringing your kids along when you could have just as easily gone away to some exotic place SANS kids. (but, really, it was my idea to do a family vacation & i couldn't be more excited.) i S.U.N. (which stands for "i shit u not".)

7. a haircut/trim. ode to hair: i'm sorry hair, that i neglect you on a regular basis. it's just that you are not as important as bras, diapers, & tampons. especially the tampons. but, my friend! it's tax season so you are due for your bi-annual trim!

there you have it. a new blog entry for your pleasure. and a list of my entitlements. if you feel so inclined, you can donate to this cause by stopping by my house & delivering the goods.